Wanted: Good Home for Golden Retriever!

8 1/2 month old female Golden Retriever is the perfect family pet! She is docile, calm - placid even - and never chews, jumps or bites. She is a joy to behold, a real snuggle bunny. Owner must sacrifice; has gone around the bend to Funny Farm.

OK, OK. Ya wanna know what's going on? Nikki did it again. Last night, I was in the breakfast room with her, watching TV. She was at my side, in front of the back door, chewing. She had a chew right there, so I was glad she was happily occupied. She was chewing and pulling for quite some time. I finally got up for something, looked down and screamed!

Nikki had chewed a huge part of the linoleum! Meaning she probably pulled on a bit of the floor that had curled up, and then kept pulling up and chewing.

I put her to bed immediately and then I collapsed on the den couch and escaped into a 2-hour nap.

I hadn't planned on redecorating the kitchen just yet. Now it looks like I'll have to put in a new floor at the same time I have the bathroom floors done! So might as well take down the wallpaper and paint, too. Oh well, it does need it.

I am still recovering from the fall I took on Sunday night. I had just come home and was throwing away the trash. I was just about to play with Nikki when she decided to pounce on me with her two front paws, knocking me over! I fell on my right side onto a concrete step. Ouch! Saturday, Nikki stepped on my big toe on my right foot and now THAT'S infected! Oh, yes, and my whole left side is messed up. I'm limping because of my knee plus my left arm hurts and I have no strength in it anymore. I believe this all can be blamed on the dog too.

As my friend Marc pointed out, I got this dog to get in better shape! This, however, does not appear to be the case.

(I'm only kidding about giving her away but she is on waivers.)